Navigating Courageous Career Conversations: The Dos and Don'ts

Embarking on a courageous career conversation is a journey filled with challenges and opportunities for growth. To guide you through this transformative process, we've compiled a list of dos and don'ts, along with insightful questions and a task to help you prepare effectively.

The Dos:

1. Have the conversation in person: Face-to-face interactions set an emotional tone that fosters a deeper understanding. This personal touch can help build trust and convey the sincerity of your intentions.

2. Face the fear and embrace your 'why': Clearly articulate your motivations for initiating the conversation. Whether it's negotiating a salary increase or expressing your career aspirations, understanding and embracing your 'why' will fuel your courage.

3. Be real about your expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations for the conversation. Whether it's discussing future opportunities, addressing concerns, or seeking support, honesty about your expectations lays the foundation for a productive discussion.

4. Be prepared to experience discomfort: Courageous conversations often involve stepping out of your comfort zone. Be mentally prepared to navigate discomfort and approach the conversation with a growth mindset.

5. Be direct and provide detail and evidence: Present your points clearly and provide evidence to support your claims. Direct communication and substantiating your arguments with facts enhance the credibility of your message.

6. Be aware of your non-verbal signs: Pay attention to your body language and facial expressions. Non-verbal cues can convey confidence, sincerity, or hesitation, influencing the overall perception of your message.

The Don'ts:

1. Make generalisations: Avoid making sweeping statements without specific examples or evidence. Generalisations can dilute the impact of your message and hinder effective communication.

2. Have an unclear message: Clarity is key in courageous conversations. Ensure that your message is concise, focused, and free from ambiguity to avoid misunderstandings.

3. Over-rehearse like you're memorising a script: While preparation is essential, over-rehearsing can make you sound robotic or insincere. Aim for a balance between preparation and genuine expression.

4. Lose sight of your goal: Stay focused on the purpose of the conversation. Avoid getting sidetracked by irrelevant details or emotions that may detract from your main objectives.

5. Make assumptions: Base your points on facts and observations rather than assumptions. Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and hinder the progress of the conversation.

6. Talk too much: Practice brevity and ensure that your points are concise. Talking too much can dilute the impact of your message and may lead to the listener losing interest.

Doubt-Banishing Questions:

  • What does a good outcome look like for me?
  • How much am I willing to compromise?
  • What are the consequences if I do nothing and don't ask for what I want?
  • Am I willing to accept the consequences on my family and career?

Task: Set Your Courage in Motion

Jot down your thoughts: Write down the key points and questions you'd like to address during the conversation.

Record yourself: Say the parts that make you feel uncomfortable and listen back. Evaluate your tone, assertiveness, and clarity.

Review and refine: Assess your recording and make adjustments. Aim for assertiveness, clarity, and conciseness.

Seek feedback: If comfortable, ask someone to listen to your recording, specifying the aspects you'd like feedback on, such as tone, conciseness, or length.

Courageous career conversations are stepping stones to professional growth. By being mindful of these dos and don'ts and embracing the discomfort, you can navigate these discussions with confidence and purpose.

Remember, your career journey is shaped by the conversations you have. Make them count!

(Don't forget to share this blog with anyone you think might find it useful)

Jo Lawrence

Return To Work Mentor for UK Mums.

A busy career-mum of 3 who has helped over 250 women resiliently navigate the transition back to work.

Read Jo’s story here: “More than just Mum”.

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